"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." Arthur C Clarke, 1961
Below is a recipe from a recently discovered Grimoire by the 16th century alchemist Christopherus Johannes Robertus Thomas, presaging the future world of Nostradamus.
On Delivering Messages through the Ether to a Multitude
This wondrous spell requires access to a computational machine, connected to the mystical internet and can be accomplished with nought more than a calm state of mind, a
posset and bag of Jellie Babies for spiritual and bodily sustenance.
- Seek out www.hbn.org.uk and upon the page appearing, select "Login" on the Menu bar and thence respond to the request for Username and Password (obtainable from Archmage Jon Beal, Webmaster). You may nibble the head of a Jellie Baby.
- And lo! Your name shall appear on the left of the page and there-under a list of which you select "create content" and there-under again appears a sub-list from which you select "News". Consume the rest of the Jellie Baby and one quarter of the posset.
- The "Submit News" page appeareth. Go to the box "Title". Enter therein no more than 5 short words giving the generality of your article, for example "Writing articles", for the print shall be large and blue and the space available small. Isolate a red Jellie Baby.
- Proceed to "Headline". Enter a cunningly contrived title to lure the reader in to your message (e.g. 10steps to write an article on the HBN website). This headline will be Golden. Eat the red Jellie Baby and one other and fortify yourself with half the posset.
- In the box labelled "Body", enter your article; carefully crafted to impress the reader with your acumen, style and surfeit of knowledge, and yet simple and clear in intent. You may need to wrestle with a Thesaurus but the strong of heart shall win!
Do not transpose the words from Microsoft Word for then they shall be corrupted with much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Words from Word can be tamed by transposing first to Notepad and thence to the box labelled "Body".
Rest awhile. You may visit the privy.
- Scroll down to "Categories". Should the small arrow be pointing right, click to reveal sub menus "Special Category", "Related links", "Article Topic" and "Free Tags". Make choices according to your disposition (multiple choices can be made by holding the Control Key down and clicking selections) and enter memorable Key words in the "Free Tags", e.g. writing articles, news, HBN website.
- Proceed downwards to "Additional Role Permissions" and if necessary, click thereon to reveal menus "Roles that can view" and "Roles that can edit".
IMPORTANT - Ensure that both editor and publisher are selected in these two menus (the multiple choices can be made by holding the Control Key down and clicking selections) for otherwise thou art like a boat up a creek without a paddle after reaching step 12, with your article cast into Limbo, unpublishable and uneditable.Reward yourself with a Jelly Baby, preferably yellow.
- Go to the "Summary" box to encapsulate the pith of your article in laconic terms, so that the easily confused may yet grasp the nub of your news. Append a Copy the summary to the base of the text already in body.
- Now find the "Call to Action" box to instruct the reader in a clear and decisive manner on how they should now proceed. Append a Copy the Call to Action to the base of the text already in body.
- Proceed to the bottom of the page and depress the "Submit" button.
Thou hast now completed this most magnificent of tasks and enriched the ether with your message of shining intellect in preparation for broadcast to the multitudes, through the final ministrations of the Editor and Publisher, (the Archmage Jon Beal and his loyal agent Tony Hetherington).You may place your feet up in front of the fire and righteously consume the remnants of your Jellie Babies. The last dregs of your posset will have cooled and can be given to your grateful hound to sip as you ponder on a task well done!
Summary
- go to www.hbn.org.uk and log in
- select "create content" and "news"
- Enter a short title
- Enter a descriptive luring headline
- Write the body of your article
- Choose relevant categories and free tags
- IMPORTANT - Enable editor and publisher as Roles to view and Roles to edit
- Write an accurate summary of your article
- Enter a Call to Action (what to do next)
- IMPORTANT - Click on Submit
Call to action
Transcribe this article to your own manuscript and then hence to the HBN website to compose your inspiring content!
